Why the Holidays Feel Hard and How to Cope
The holiday season is often pictured as joyful and bright. In reality, many people experience stress, grief, financial strain, family tension, loneliness, or emotional overload this time of year. As a psychotherapist, I see the same pattern each season: a wide gap between the idealized holidays and how they actually feel for many of us.
If this season feels complicated, you are truly not alone. These gentle strategies may help you navigate the coming weeks with more steadiness and self-kindness.
Acknowledge Your Real Feelings
Holiday messages often suggest that we should feel happy, but the inner experience can be more complicated. Give yourself space to notice what is actually present for you, whether that is joy, sadness, fatigue, or a mix of many emotions. Simply naming what you feel can reduce the intensity.
Set the Boundaries You Need
Gatherings and expectations can feel overwhelming. It is okay to decline invitations, limit time with certain people, or step away from conversations that feel uncomfortable. Boundaries are not walls. They are acts of self-care that protect your peace.
Release Expectations of Perfection
Trying to create a flawless holiday often brings more pressure than enjoyment. You do not need to prepare a perfect meal, attend every event, or keep every tradition. Focus instead on what feels meaningful or manageable for you this year. Simplifying often brings a sense of relief.
Look for Small Grounding Moments
The pace of the season can be intense. Short, simple calming practices can help, such as taking a few slow breaths, savoring a warm drink without multitasking, or stepping outside for a brief walk. These small pauses support your nervous system and help you reset.
Make Room for Grief
Holidays can shine a light on who or what is missing. If sadness appears, there is nothing wrong with you. You might create a gentle ritual to honor your loss, such as lighting a candle, sharing a memory, or writing in a journal. Grief needs compassion. Rituals can offer a safe place during a season that often expects constant cheer.
Reduce Pressure Around Gifts
If finances or expectations feel heavy, consider simplifying. Meaningful gifts do not have to be costly. A handwritten note, a shared experience, or a small act of kindness can hold more value than anything purchased. Choose what works best for you.
Create a Season That Works for You
There is no correct way to “do” the holidays. You may want connection, quiet, celebration, rest, or some combination or you may choose not to participate at all. Many people struggle during this season, and rising rates of depression and suicide are a reflection of that reality, not a personal failing. Do not let seasonal expectations lead to self-judgment.
What matters most is allowing yourself to shape the season in a way that supports your well-being. If you need support, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I would be honored to help.
My Holiday Wish for You
May you be safe and free from harm.
May you be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
May you find peace.
To your health and happiness,
Isobel McGrath is a licensed International Mental Health Counselor, Life Coach, and Certified Hypnotherapist in St. Augustine, FL.
Isobel provides therapy, counseling, life coaching, and hypnosis in person at her St. Augustine Beach office and through Telehealth. She is dedicated to providing exceptional, collaborative care and truly cares about her clients and their well-being.
For more information about St. Augustine Therapist Isobel McGrath, please visit IsobelMcGrath.com, Mindful-Options.com, and 30SecondsOfCalm.com or call (904) 436-5576.