I hope you all enjoyed your summer. I love September, it’s the marker for change. The children are going back to school. Adults are enrolling in classes, and getting back in gear to meet their goals, whether it’s exercising, eating healthily, improving relationships. You name it, people, just seem more motivated to transform their lives and NOW is a wonderful season to start. Just like the autumn leaves falling, this is a natural time to let go of old ways of being, and embrace the new.
Here is one thing I think we all can let go of: –
Do you judge yourself and others? Do you compare yourself to others?
Judgment and comparing yourself to others is a sure way to talk yourself out of having a positive feelings of self-worth. This is what is referred to as the comparison game.
When we compare ourselves to others, we can always find someone better than or less than. For example, I may say “Mary is thinner than me”. Which may be true. Which is a fact. However, me berating myself because I am heavier, is what will cause me to feel unhappy.
I may say,” I like what I am wearing, better than what Mary is wearing”. This is my personal preference and this will make me feel happier with myself.
When we compare one attribute, we lose sight of the bigger picture. You need to ask yourself, “For what reason do I put more value on this particular trait?”
You will save yourself a lot of heartache by consciously deciding to stop the judgment and acknowledge, “Others are not necessarily better, or less than, they are just different”.
Please reframe judgment, that is, your “should’s” to “wishes”. Maybe you wish you were different e.g. thinner, more outgoing, confident, riche. You can fill in the blank, “I wish I was ————-“. It is part of our human condition to want to be something we are not. Always wanting more. This is normal but to think that you must or should be different, is a sure way to make yourself feel less than, which de values yourself and lowers your self-esteem.
See if you can catch yourself when you are playing the Comparison Game. Smile, it is just a thought. Now change that thought to a wish. Remember, wishes are not based in reality! Acknowledge this is just a game of the mind.