Many people ask, “Why should I spend time, energy and money in analyzing myself” i.e. understanding why they feel and think what they do. This is truly the crux of counseling, it is all about getting to know yourself, what makes you ‘tick’, what upsets you and why.
The purpose of this self knowledge is that as we gain an understanding of ourselves, we feel a greater sense of control in our lives. It makes sense why we act the way we do, why we are attracted to certain people etc. Therefore, we realize we are not “different” from others; we do fit in after all. This often brings a great sense of relief.
Most of our personality is formed when we are children at a time when we have no ability to pick and choose what we want to believe about ourselves. We are at the mercy of our caregivers. We form ways of coping. These then become automatic behaviors. For example, we become people pleasers as a way of getting positive attention.
In counseling we bring these habitual ways of behaving up to conscious awareness and as adults, we decide whether these behaviors are beneficial to us today. They served us well in childhood, but they may be interfering with our relationships or our own self esteem. From here, I assist you using the knowledge and tools that I have to help you make the change you have consciously decided is best for you.
To conclude, the first step in being the person you want to be, is to first understand why you are the way you are. With this understanding, comes acceptance without blaming or shaming yourself. From self acceptance we can have the courage, belief and motivation to focus on the change we want to make in ourselves.
Thanks for visiting my website and taking the time to read my blog. I hope it was beneficial to you.